D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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