the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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