Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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