I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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