Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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