Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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