I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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