I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
