now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
