am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
