if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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