i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
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win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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