You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
