My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
