Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Duck Duck Cougar?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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