I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize