Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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