ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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