Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A bitchslap is in order.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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