I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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