i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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