Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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