Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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