The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
