When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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