Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
