What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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