We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
