Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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