my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
