i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
