Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
