so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
