Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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