Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
