I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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