i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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