I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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