I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
