the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
