Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
