sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
