Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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