So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
