He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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