I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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