D3 body, D1 cock
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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