how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
