I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
