i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
