party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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