She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have post one night stand depression
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