You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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