Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize