just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
