it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
