I wish my penis had an off switch
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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