Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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